Friday, July 2, 2010


It's another Friday night folks, which means a new Five Finger movie review, tonight pick is a more modern day slasher called HATCHET!

Plot: The film opens on two hunters, Sampson and his son, Ainsley, fishing in a swamp during a full moon. The two don't seem to like each other that much, and Ainsley keeps saying he has to use the restroom, making Sampson row their boat to shore. While Ainsley is urinating, Sampson falls silent so Ainsley goes to see where he is and finds Sampson's mutilated body. He grabs his harpoon and panics, only to be attacked by a strong, monstrous being who rips his arm off, pulls part of his spine out and rips his body in half. The setting switches during the credits to a Mardi Gras celebration in downtown New Orleans. In the middle of this mob is a group of friends including Ben and his best friend Marcus, who have come to have some fun, since Ben's girlfriend of eight years recently dumped him. Ben decides to go on a haunted swamp tour to escape the madness of Mardi Gras, and Marcus hesitantly agrees to go with him. The two then go to the swamp tour registry, only to find that the tour is closed because the tour guide, Rev. Zombie, was sued. Rev. Zombie then suggests that they try a place farther down the street, owned by the over-the-top, cheesy, inexperienced tour guide, Shawn. Once they arrive, Marcus decides to leave but changes his mind upon seeing two topless girls: Misty, a ditzy porn star, and Jenna, a bossy, boastful, up-and-coming actress. Their sleazy porn director, Shapiro, is also there. Ben pays for both himself and Marcus and Shawn leads all five of them to his tour bus, where the other tourists, Mr. and Mrs. Permatteo, a Minnesota couple, and the quiet, hot-tempered Marybeth, are waiting.
As the tour begins, Ben tries to make friends with Marybeth, who rudely rejects him, and Marcus takes a liking to Jenna. Shawn obviously doesn't know what he's doing, and the others start to catch on just as he arrives at the swamp. Shapiro has Misty and Jenna strip down and film a scene for Bayou Beavers as everyone gets onto the boat, while a homeless swamp-dweller tries to warn them away from the swamp. Shawn takes them anyway, touring through boring swamplands and past abandoned houses, including one where Victor Crowley, a deformed creature, lived. Shawn mentions "one night Victor's dad goes crazy and whacks him in the face with a hatchet" while looking at "ghost lights"; however, Mrs. Permatteo sees someone in the trees, and Shawn accidentally crashes into a rock, sinking the boat. To reach land, they must walk across a broken tree. While crossing, Mr. Permatteo is bitten on the leg by an alligator, making him, Misty, and Shapiro fall into the water. They all get to shore and run to safety, while Mr. Permatteo bleeds profusely. They realize that Shawn isn't an actual tour guide; he's just a college student looking for money. Marybeth takes out a gun she brought and informs them that her father and brother, Sampson and Ainsley, disappeared while fishing nearby, presumably at the hands of Victor Crowley. She then tells them the real story of Victor Crowley.
Long ago, presumably the 1940s-1960s, Crowley was a deformed boy who was kept hidden from the world by his loving father. One Halloween night, a group of kids decided to scare Victor by throwing fire works into his house, but instead the house was engulfed in flames. Victor's father returned home and tried to hack down the door with a hatchet to save him. Because he did not realize that Victor was pressed up against the other side of the door tring to get out, he hit him in the face with the hatchet, killing him. Victor's father died of a broken heart 10 years later. Marybeth tells them that Victor still roams the swamp, as a vengeful spirit, killing anyone who enters.
Victor mostly kills people near his house, which they all are standing in front of. Mrs. Permatteo becomes infuriated with how scared everyone is and decides to help her husband into the house herself. While walking up to the house, Victor emerges and hacks Mr. Permatteo in half, making everyone run away, except for a frightened Mrs. Permatteo, who then has her head ripped in half by Victor's bare hands. Marybeth shoots Victor, but only makes him fall.
The others finally meet up with each other, while Shapiro runs off farther into the swamp, where he has his head twisted off by Victor. Marcus has climbed a tree, and with some encouragement comes down from the tree, only to attack Shawn for getting them all in this mess. Ben separates them, and Marcus decides to take charge, asking if anyone else has a secret. Jenna confesses that she does not go to NYU, the college she was bragging about, instead she went to Hofstra. They then discover Shapiro's body and equipment and find out that he really wasn't a porn director, but a slimy businessman who just wanted to start a porn collection on his own. Marybeth suggests that they go back to the Crowley house to get some weapons, and all six of them head back to the house. Jenna, Shawn, Marcus, and Misty stand guard, while Marybeth and Ben go into the shed to get weapons, but find Sampson and Ainsley's bodies instead. Ben comforts Marybeth, and they grab a shovel and a pitchfork, while the others begin to get scared by noises in the bushes. All of a sudden, Jenna is grabbed from behind a tree by Victor, who uses a gas powered belt sander to sand off her lower jaw, while the others scream, and Marybeth and Ben arrive with the weapons. Marybeth hits Victor with the shovel, making him fall and get stabbed with the pitchfork by Ben. Shawn goes to grab the shovel but Victor grabs it first, chopping off his leg with it, and then decapitating him while the others run away. As Jenna, now-jawless, crawls on the ground, choking on her own blood, Victor takes the wounded girl and impales her on the shovel then chases after the remaining survivors.
The others finally slow down and decide to lure Victor back to his house and set him on fire with the gasoline tanks in the shed. They quietly head back to the house, and Ben goes into the shed to get a full gasoline tank, while Misty stands guard and Marybeth and Marcus act as bait to lure Victor to his demise. While Ben is trying to find a full tank, Marybeth and Marcus discover that Misty is missing, and her head and torso are thrown onto Ben by Victor. Ben finds a full tank and throws it on Victor, while Marybeth and Marcus set him on fire, only to have it rain and put the fire out.
The three begin to run through the cemetery they passed and find that the gate is locked, and Ben is tackled by Victor who spits up[clarification needed] in his face but is then dragged to safety. They start to run away but Marcus gets grabbed by Victor and has his arms ripped off and then his head smashed against a tombstone. Victor then grabs a gate stake/pole and chases Ben and Marybeth, throwing it into Ben's foot. Marybeth bends the pole until it's pointed right at Victor who is running towards them and is impaled on the pole. Ben and Marybeth then get onto Sampson's abandoned boat and head out into the water, where Marybeth is pulled in, getting twisted up in the seaweed. She finally sees Ben's arm sticking down in the water for her to grab, and is pulled up by Victor who is holding a dying Ben's severed forearm, and the film ends with Victor holding her screaming, until the credits roll.

My Thoughts: I thought this was a decent horror slasher, for sure not the best out there, put I thought it gave off a nice vintage feel to the 80's which I really enjoyed alot. I found the movie very entertaining from start to finish,could be a little more serious an some more gore but still a great movie all around. I can't wait for part 2 really happy there's some more modern day slasher movies being made. I give this flick a 4 out of 5 Bloody Fingers!

Movie Trailer:

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